When I refrain myself from talking back, you said my attitude is over your limit but when I fight for my rights, you said I'm disrespectful and being very rebellious. Since I was born, I don't feel like you appreciate me as much as you appreciate others. I feel like I'm always at the last of your priorities. I feel like as if I'm not important to you and I'm a nobody in your eyes.
You said I was rude for hurling vulgarities to Mu and said that since marriage, my attitude changed from bad to worst. You said I'm a bad person. You said you never said such things to Mu and it's a sin to say it.
But have you ever think when you said, I'm stupid, I'm a good for nothing person, I'm a disgracing person and all the negatives words.
Have you ever think of my feelings then? NO! Not at all. You don't care about my feelings. You just don't care. You scold you nag but all I did was keep quiet. And all you said was, my attitude since marriage change from bad to worst?
I just don't understand how you see me as a daughter. Whatever I do, everything seems amiss in your eyes. You never motivate me with the things I love to do. You always look down on me. You always say I will never succeed with this kind of attitude.
When I'm out to work, you demand for money but when I give you part of my salary you said it's not enough and you wanted more. When I said I can't because I need money for my daily expenses, you scolded me. You said I owe you a lot. Yes I know I owe you money but I too needed money for myself and husband. Plus with the situation my husband is having now, we needed money for our daily expenses not only for my own needs.
You compared me with Tin and you said she's way better than me in financial matters. You said she's a good cook. You said all the good things about her and comparing me. Why is that so? Why because I'm a lousy person?
Sometimes, I feel that, you're not my biological mother. You treated me like I'm not your daughter. Even the expenses for my wedding, I know you paid most of the wedding needs but it's not sincerely from your heart. I believe that you were forced to fork out your money for my sake. Now, you're demanding me like as if I won't pay you back. Like as if I'm going to run away from debts.
Sigh. I wish that you could understand my situation. I wish you could see me as a daughter not as a stranger or a criminal. I wish that we could be best friends. But my wish is a fat hope. I know that you will never change. NEVER!
What I can do now is to pray for you. I will always pray for you. Even if we're not in talking terms. My reason for refraining myself from talking to you is because, I know that whenever I tried to say something, you will always have so much negativity to say about it. Everything is wrong. Then you will nag non-stop. I really don't like it when you start creating a fuss about little things.
I will always pray that Allah will forgive you for all the hurt that you've caused me. I will pray for your good health and long life. I will pray that you will be a good mother in the near future. Amin.